January 1: Trust
Instead of New Year's resolutions, I choose a New Year's word each year. I started this practice in 2016 and it has served me well so far. The word comes to me in meditation, slowly taking hold of me over time. All three times I have been resistant to the word when it first arrived, but eventually, when I became sure it was the right word, surrendered to it.
The word isn't about achieving anything. I am not sure I was more open, or better at waiting, at the end of 2016 and 2017. But I was more able to understand what it meant to be open, to wait. I was more able to notice when I wasn't open--to feel my heart closing, to be curious about why, to decide more consciously what to do next. I have learned that waiting isn't about needing something specific to happen but being open and ready for whatever will happen--developing that spiritual strength and capacity.
But trust? So many people have broken my trust throughout my life that it is hard for me to trust anyone completely. This has caused issues in lots of friendships and relationships over the years, and it is something I am still working on.
It is hard for me to trust myself, to be sure of what I am feeling, thinking, what I know. I don't always believe everything will be OK--that I have the capacity to survive anything--even though my life has shown me this truth again and again. I definitely still have a problem with imagining the worst case scenario--of course I'll lose my job, lose this child, lose...and then, when it happens, it is easy to believe it will always happen. And, when it doesn't, it's hard to see that as anything other than luck.
I hate the idea of "trusting" in a higher power. Although I've come to understand trusting God isn't about expecting divine intervention, but about believing something Larger accompanies me on my journey, it is still a challenging concept for me.
So, although I am resistant to it, trust is a good word for me to mull over, to meditate on.
Here are some of the practices I've used with my word of the year. I share them because some readers may want to try this practice.
--Use the word as a mantra during meditation.
--Imagine the shapes of the letters, and your body interacting with those shapes. I spent a lot of time, for instance, jumping on the O trampoline in 2016, and sliding down the steep slides of the W in 2017.
--Actually make the letters with your body--a kind of made up yoga.
--Let your mind find words that begin with each of the letters of the word. Alternate meditating on the word itself and the other words, which are so often related in ways we don't realize at first.
--Look up the etymology of the word, and reflect on its history.
--Do a search for where this word shows up in poetry, literature, and spiritual texts.
--Look it up in a thesaurus, and reflect on the tiny nuances that make, for instance, wait and pause similar and different.
There are, no doubt, many more, but these have been very fruitful for me.
Blessings to everyone in 2018!
The word isn't about achieving anything. I am not sure I was more open, or better at waiting, at the end of 2016 and 2017. But I was more able to understand what it meant to be open, to wait. I was more able to notice when I wasn't open--to feel my heart closing, to be curious about why, to decide more consciously what to do next. I have learned that waiting isn't about needing something specific to happen but being open and ready for whatever will happen--developing that spiritual strength and capacity.
But trust? So many people have broken my trust throughout my life that it is hard for me to trust anyone completely. This has caused issues in lots of friendships and relationships over the years, and it is something I am still working on.
It is hard for me to trust myself, to be sure of what I am feeling, thinking, what I know. I don't always believe everything will be OK--that I have the capacity to survive anything--even though my life has shown me this truth again and again. I definitely still have a problem with imagining the worst case scenario--of course I'll lose my job, lose this child, lose...and then, when it happens, it is easy to believe it will always happen. And, when it doesn't, it's hard to see that as anything other than luck.
I hate the idea of "trusting" in a higher power. Although I've come to understand trusting God isn't about expecting divine intervention, but about believing something Larger accompanies me on my journey, it is still a challenging concept for me.
So, although I am resistant to it, trust is a good word for me to mull over, to meditate on.
Here are some of the practices I've used with my word of the year. I share them because some readers may want to try this practice.
--Use the word as a mantra during meditation.
--Imagine the shapes of the letters, and your body interacting with those shapes. I spent a lot of time, for instance, jumping on the O trampoline in 2016, and sliding down the steep slides of the W in 2017.
--Actually make the letters with your body--a kind of made up yoga.
--Let your mind find words that begin with each of the letters of the word. Alternate meditating on the word itself and the other words, which are so often related in ways we don't realize at first.
--Look up the etymology of the word, and reflect on its history.
--Do a search for where this word shows up in poetry, literature, and spiritual texts.
--Look it up in a thesaurus, and reflect on the tiny nuances that make, for instance, wait and pause similar and different.
There are, no doubt, many more, but these have been very fruitful for me.
Blessings to everyone in 2018!
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