Ritual

S. and I had a wonderful adoption party this past weekend. The adoption isn't final, but we didn't want to wait. The party included visits from one of S's horse friends (and she rode the horse in her fancy pink dress!), about 90 people who came to wish us well, and lots of delicious food. But most importantly, it included a family blessing ritual, part of which we wrote ourselves, and part of which was written by S's chosen godparents, P and J. Enjoy!

WELCOME

ARGIE (says something like): Welcome to our celebration. This is a ritual to bless our new family. We are going to start with one of S’s favorite bible verses, Psalm 23. We would like you to recite it with us if you know it. We are reciting the old-fashioned version (King James).

COMMUNAL READING/OPENING PRAYER:

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in the green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul, he guideth me
in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Lo, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me,
thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
You prepareth a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anointeth my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

ARGIE and/or S say something about why we chose this verse:

--This is one of the few verses that we both know by heart.

--We both feel comforted in the natural world that God gave us and this is one thing we enjoy together.

--S had a lot of suffering in her life, and Psalm 23 is about coming out of that suffering and living a life of goodness and mercy.

ARGIE and/or S invites Argie’s sister to come forward to do the first reading. We explain that she is representing Argie’s family, including some members who were able to come for the celebration.

The first reading is from Matthew chapter18 verses 10-14, THE PARABLE OF THE LOST SHEEP.

In this parable, Jesus is speaking to his disciples:

See that you do not look down on one of these little ones, for I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the 99 on the hills and go look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the 99 that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.

ARGIE and/or S says something about why we chose this verse:

--S was lost for a long time when she was being abused, and Argie felt less direction in her life until S came into it. We think this verse relates to the two of us finding each other.

ARGIE invites J and S to read the next reading and explains the important role they have played in S’s life as “big sisters/college buddies” to S.

SECOND READING:

Lines from “edges of emptiness” by Marge Piercy

Those who truly inhabit our lives

whose faces, whose gestures

like fine choreography align the air,

whose voices enter the ghostly inner ear

so that we shall hear them ten years

later in an empty room at dusk,

never can their presence be replaced.

The creatures for whom the hollow

places of our solitude are opened wide

to shimmer with the lighted lamps of love,

we shape ourselves to hold them.

We have been configured to a use,

a habitation. We are the chambered shell

of a nautilus, the high steep coil

of a conch…those winding galleries of pearl

…await the one whose need

and pleasure they hardened around.

In love we weave ourselves together,

Persian carpets with the colors

Of each friendship knotted fine and tight,

The pattern as visible on the reverse.

ARGIE explains that the poem speaks to the calling she had to adopt S, and also to the importance of community to herself and S, and expresses gratitude for the community into which S has come and which has sustained them both.

THIRD READING: K

ARGIE invites K, S’s horse teacher/college buddy, to come forward and do the next reading and explains the important role she’s played in S’s life. She also introduces the poem as one inspired by S’s first lesson with Honey.

Girl and Horse

If you saw her with a horse, you’d understand

she is larger than all the fear or grief her body holds,

and like the huge, slow animal that starts to move

at the click, click, click of her first command,

you have the capacity

to love everything about her,

even her worst memory circling over and over

like the animal circling her now

with its small puffs of nostril-smoke,

its smell of hay and winter. Maybe

you don’t believe it now,

that spring will come,

that a girl can lead a horse

with sounds in her throat,

that she will live among us

gifted and pained in her perfect way,

but if you saw her

with a horse, you’d believe

anything can happen,

that a girl hurt over and over

can still turn out gentle
and in love with this world,

that whatever occurs after the stables,

when we launch our lives into the spaces

between horses,

you’d believe, if you saw her with a horse,

that two people who knew nothing

of each other just two months before

can come to the center of a field
and settle into that small horse-syllable—Ho!—

which means stop, which means stay.

GODPARENT AND NAMING CEREMONY

ARGIE (says something like): S asked soon after moving here if my dear friends P and J could be her godparents. I was very moved by this because P and J are the most spiritual people I know. They truly live their faith, which is based on the concepts of love, community, gratitude, and generosity. In this ceremony, which has some elements from the baptismal ceremony in the tradition in which I was raised, P and J will give S her new name, which is a combination of the names from her past and names that mark her journey to this new family. P and J will also bless S and I with holy water from Greece. We will then do the same for them. You are all also a part of this ritual; in the act of anointing, imagine that all of us are being anointed by each other as a large family.

P and J’s Prayer:

It has been said that there are no accidents.

It has also been said that life itself is an accident.

Is our fate written for us?

Or do we write our own fates.

Somewhere between those two views, we each find what is true in our own lives

Everyone has parts of their lives that they did not ask for and did not write

It does not happen often, but sometimes we get hints or nudges from the universe

about new possibilities .

And we are given the opportunity to write for ourselves the next few chapters of our lives

When we get one of those nudges or hints, we have choices over how to respond

Argie was given one of those nudges

And she chose to go to great lengths

In pursuit of a goal which was a mystery to her

S was given an opportunity

To choose a new beginning for her life

She took that chance

And has found her home

And now both of you will write the next few chapters of your lives

As mother and daughter

Let us pray. Loving God

Lord of the Universe

Thank you for those timely accidents

Those hints and nudges

Which help us find our way

Thank you for giving us the freedom to choose our response

When we get those hints

Thank you for courageous people like Argie and S

Guide them and Bless them as mother and daughter

AMEN

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Closing words:

We would like to thank each and every one of you for the blessing of your presence

at this special joyous occasion.

Let us all now welcome - Argie and her daughter (new name here) to our community.