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Showing posts from January, 2021

50

Focus: a localized area of disease or the chief site of a generalized disease or infection Four days before my 50 th birthday, a mob of Trump supporters tried to stop Congress from certifying a fair and democratic election. They stormed the Capitol building, sporting shirts that read “six million were not enough” and waving Confederate flags, filling the Rotunda where, not so long ago, Ruth Bader Ginsburg became the first woman and first Jew to lie in state. “It’s not like there’s just one of them,” my sister said later on the phone. “They’ve expanded like…like a cancer.” Four days before my 13 th birthday, my mother, age 49, came home for the last time from the hospital at the end of an on-and-off, four year battle with cancer. The photos of my birthday are poignant; I’m wearing a jean dress with a red shirt and blue polka dotted bow tie. My mother is sitting in a wheelchair wearing a red robe. “We match,” I remember her saying, smiling up at me from her chair just before my aun...

On Epiphany

 On Epiphany morning, I turned to my phone when my alarm went off, a habit I have tried to break--but I just had to know what had happened overnight. I clicked on the New York Times logo and scrolled, holding my breath.  Warnock, the Democrat, had won one of the two runoff elections in Georgia; the other was too close to call.  I closed my eyes. I fell to sleep again, dreaming I was in a long line waiting to cast my vote in the bitter cold. In that long line, we were all holding candles, all singing the Hymn of the Nativity from my first tradition in my first language, though the line was full of people of all races and genders and sizes and ages.  I should have lingered on that dream, but instead, I woke panicked, worried that I'd slept in. If I didn't hurry, I might miss my meditation time in front of the tree, or my work out. I knew I'd need them both, especially today. The tree will likely come down tomorrow, I thought, on St. John's Day, the official last day of...