Writing, Parenting, and Working in the Mess: Authentic Spirituality and Social Justice

Last Thursday, I opened my e-mail in the early morning to two e-mails from the school, or, at least, from people at the school. In the first, a staff person wrote to me from his/her home e-mail address and said that recent communications from the school s/he had seen did not make sense in light of other similar cases—i.e, it was clear that I was being picked on and that I should consider getting an advocate and asking the advocate to come with me to the next version of the IEP meeting. I cannot tell you how affirming it was to see an e-mail from an insider after so many weeks of feeling like I was crazy for requesting very simple things: notes, in a place where I could access them; assignments, a week in advance. And, I got another e-mail from S’s special education advocate. I needed to either sign and say I agreed with the IEP or sign and say I disagreed with the IEP. My 14 days are almost up, and when they expire, the new IEP will go into effect no matter what I’ve done. I responded ...

From the beginning, I knew that one of the most difficult parts of my job as the parent of a special needs kid was that I needed to be an advocate for her. People would misunderstand her, treat her poorly. People would shrink away from her story, not want to hear the details. Kids would bully her, and she’d push back, and I’d have to be clear about how to hold her accountable and advocate for her at the same time. And, then, there was the issue of her education. I was determined to ensure she would not be underestimated as she had been for the first 14 years of her life, sitting in a resource room all day, doing, as far as I can tell, very little. I will never forget how, when I was finally permitted to talk to S’s teacher, she explained over and over how sad S’s plight was, how badly she’d been abused. “But how well does she write?” I’d ask. “How severe is her learning disability in math?” There were no answers to such questions. Her IEP, when I finally received it, gave even fewer a...